Tasteless Ways to Make the Next Celebrity Death About You

When a celebrity dies, we all mourn. But some of us need to let everyone know how deeply we’re affected by this devastating loss of beautiful, ageless talents. Use these tools to channel people’s interest from the tragedy to yourself, and let them know that this is really all about you:

 

Mention the Real-Life Connection You Had With The Departed

Did you stand next to James Gandolfini in a supermarket once? Use this incident and embellish details. Make others certain that the two of you shared a meaningful connection and that you witnessed him in a rare moment of vulnerability. Share an anecdote that illustrates how gracious and clever he was; if necessary, fabricate the encounter entirely. The facts aren’t as important as the truth of your incredible grief in this moment.

 

Exaggerate the Importance of Their Work in Your Life

No one ever really bothered to ask you anyway, so it’s perfectly believable that Paul Walker got you through a very difficult time with his work in The Fast and the Furious. Saying you had “all the VHS’s” of a certain celebrity adds a childlike sentiment to your sadness at their departure.

 

 

Share Important Facts About Them That You Just Learned

Listing facts about the departed (even if you didn’t know them until you read their Wikipedia page) shows that you understand their importance in the cultural narrative. Sharing photos of the deceased from iconic moments in their career or childhood proves that you really know who they are and what they did. You get it. The most.

 

Idolize, Idolize, Idolize

Like most people, you may have had an average appreciation for Elizabeth Taylor. That doesn’t mean you can’t call her your “greatest role model” in your 500-word Facebook eulogy. Be highly specific in your adoration; it will show how well you articulate the complicated nature of loss.

 

Every tragedy in the news is a chance to remind the people around you that you are capable of feeling. But celebrity deaths are the greatest tragedies of them all, so take every opportunity to insert yourself into the discussion of their lives and deaths. The important thing is that people see that you’re feeling this celebrity death more deeply than they are. They need to know that their pain is nothing in comparison to your grief upon your hero’s death. Making a celebrity death about you is a great reminder that you exist, even if she no longer does.